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673. RT Rewind: May 1995 Ads & Features


The May 1995 Cover:

The Cover of Norah Hess' FANCY on the cover of RT May 1995. The center is a vignette of a blonde woman having her ear sniffed by John DeSalvo, who is shirtless and has incredible hair.

 

The full art for Fancy as seen on an Italian translation of an Ellen Fisher book:

Una Nuova Moglie - a blonde woman in a diaphanous lavender dress is having her ear sniffed by John De Salvo who is in jeans, a belt, and has long long hair and no shirt.

Those are Ye Olde Historical Jeans and Belte, right? This book takes place in 1775. I don’t think jeans were a thing until the 1870s, but John De Salvo can do whatever he wants on a cover. It’s all fine.

The original cover for Sweet Awakening by Marjorie Farrell, and the re-release cover:

Sweet Awakening - a shirtless man holds an open gown around a lady who is topless and has long blonde hair. her back is arched and he's looking intense. Mullet level; 2 out of 5

A close up of a piece of art, featuring a woman with curly blond hair in a Regency-esque updo, and a very unimpressed expression on her face

I have made this same expression many, many times.

Prepare yourselves for the most incredible cover:

Kathleen Morgan's A Certain Magic featuring a pegasus with gold coin-bedecked harness and a shockingly upset expression, and on its back are a man and a woman in ye Olde Ren Faire costumes. His shirt has a gold rimmed square neckline on a blue fabric. His mullet is a 3 out of 5.

This is a Sherrilyn Kenyon book:

Sherrilyn Kenyon's DAEMON'S ANGEL, with an angel sprinkling stars in a blonde woman's hair. She's bent backwards as a shirtless man with a circlet in his hair breathes on her neck

So many Tiny Women in this issue!

Highland Heaven by RUth Langan - a large shirtless man is in the foreground and over his shoulder is a tiny woman in a red gown

The Savage by Parris Afton Bonds - John De Salvo has long long hair in a queue and is about to kiss a woman with brown hair at the top left, and in the lower right, she is kneeling? in front of him? And smelling his stomach?

What is she doing there? Is she ok?

These are from the article on pulp novels and collecting:

A vintage pulp novel, THE SEX A REENOS: a band that looks a lot like the beatles is singing with a blonde woman on the mic in the front. itsays at the bottom The Finest in Adult Reading

I have this cover saved to my phone. I send it to people:

A pulp novel called Marijuana Girl a red headed woman with hooded eyes kneels on a pink rug in a nightgown and black thigh highs. The words above her read SHE TRADED HER BODY FOR DRUGS AND KICKS Never was there so outspoken a novel as this

This ad absolutely cracked us both up:

You're About to Become Privileged! INTRODUCING PAGES & PRIVILEGES™! from Harlequin® and Silhouette® Books It's our way of thanking you for buying our books at your favorite retail stores. GET ALL THIS FREE WITH JUST ONE PROOF OF PURCHASE: y Hotel Discounts up to 60% at home and abroad © Travel Service Guaranteed lowest published airfares plus 5% cash back on tickets ~ $25 Travel Voucher • Sensuous Petite Parfumerie collection ($50 value) ~ Insider Tips Letter with sneak previews of upcoming books There's no club to join. No purchase commitment. No obligation. See details in all Harlezuin and Silhouette books at your favorite retail stares starting this May (in stores mid-April). HARLEQUIN and Silhouette The most privileged readers in the world!

THE MOST PRIVILEGED READERS IN THE WORLD.

The time machine heard our pleas, and we found both a picture of an author’s cat AND the name of the cat! Sometimes it’s only one or the other:

Ciji Ware and her Writer's Cat - the caption doesn't say but the cat's name is Cagney Cat

The cat’s name is Cagney Cat, which is an outstanding name for a cat. I doubt Cagney is still with us, but I hope many, many books were written under Cagney’s supervision.

This IS ABSOLUTELY ASTONISHING.

Flamboyant contemporary author Jackie Collins informed RT that with all the talk about the O.J. Dream Team, she has come up with her own versions! Send in your dream team suggestions and we'll print them here. Jackie Collins' "dream teams" would be LOVERS: She would choose Napoleon, "because short men always try harder and they are more grateful." DINNER GUESTS: She would have a round table with Margaret Thatcher because "she has such a wonderful air of authority and knows how to put a man in his place." Next to Margaret she would have Gore Vidal, "who has the most acid tongue of any man" she knows. Next to Gore, Jackie would seat Madonna because she is "quite outrageous," and on Gore's other side Sharon Stone. Jackie would put President Clinton between herself and Madonna, and the author herself would also sit next to lack Nicholson, because he is "crazy." Jackie would be the mediator for her round table and would bring up such topics as "penile implants," which always liven up any conversation. DREAM ROCK BAND: Eric Clapton, Rod Stewart, Mick Jagger and Joe Cocker because "they'd all try to outdo each other with sensational results." DREAM COMEDY LINE-UP: Absolutely Fabulous versus the Monty Python team, because it would be like "watching the stags make mincemeat of little boys." DREAM DATE: A combination of different men. Her ideal man would have Mel Gibson's sense of humor and bottom, the good looks of Pierce Brosnan and the delightful comedy talent of John Cleese combined with the savvy charm of Liam Neeson. She would then hire a plane to take them to Hong Kong so she could gather "ammunition" for her next books. Jackie Collins, 53, sister of the actress Joan and author of steamy bestsellers (her latest is Hollywood Kids), has sold more than 180 million copies of her books worldwide. An expatriate for more than a decade, she lives in Los Angeles with her three daughters.

I realize that type is very small, so hold on to your butts.

Flamboyant contemporary author Jackie Collins informed RT that with all the talk about the O.J.
Dream Team, she has come up with her own versions!
Send in your dream team suggestions and we’ll print them here.

Jackie Collins’ “dream teams” would be:

LOVERS: She would choose Napoleon, “because short men always try harder and they are more grateful.”

DINNER GUESTS: She would have a round table with
Margaret Thatcher because “she has such a wonderful air of authority and knows how to put a man in his place.”
Next to Margaret she would have Gore Vidal, “who has the most acid tongue of any man” she knows. Next to Gore, Jackie would seat Madonna because she is “quite outrageous,” and on Gore’s other side Sharon Stone.
Jackie would put President Clinton between herself and Madonna, and the author herself would also sit next to Jack Nicholson, because he is “crazy.” Jackie would be the mediator for her round table and would bring up such topics as “penile implants,” which always liven up any conversation.

DREAM ROCK BAND: Eric Clapton, Rod Stewart, Mick Jagger and Joe Cocker because “they’d all try to outdo each other with sensational results.”

DREAM COMEDY LINE-UP: Absolutely Fabulous versus the Monty Python team, because it would be like “watching the stags make mincemeat of little boys.”

DREAM DATE: A combination of different men. Her ideal man would have Mel Gibson’s sense of humor and bottom, the good looks of Pierce Brosnan and the delightful comedy talent of John Cleese combined with the savvy charm of Liam Neeson. She would then hire a plane to take them to Hong Kong so she could gather “ammunition” for her next books.

Jackie Collins, 53, sister of the actress Joan and author of steamy bestsellers (her latest is Hollywood Kids), has sold more than 180 million copies of her books worldwide. An expatriate for more than a decade, she lives in Los Angeles with her three daughters.

Would the OJ Simpson trial, a trial about a double murder and violent domestic abuse, inspire YOU to put together a dream dinner party and rock band with racists and sex pests? Well, why the hell not!?

Honestly, I am not ever getting over the phrase, “penile implants…always liven up any conversation.”

RT was still running the “Rich and Famous Romance Author House Tour” columns, and we were trying to figure out if this was a picture of Jesus or Kenny Rogers?

A fuzzy picture of a portrait of a bearded man in a room with dark walls but it's hard to tell details because it's black and white on newsprint

There was an entire article about John DeSalvo, in which they spelled his name wrong the entire time.

John DeSalvo, posted shirtless of course in a tree with light jeans and a western style silver decorated belt

  1. What conditioner was he using?
  2. Is there anything MORE 90s than that BELT?
  3. Wanna see what else we found? Of course you do.

The Sassy Ladies Spanking Fiction Collection has a business penis woman as a logo.

What do you mean?? That sentence makes perfect sense!

Adult Spanking Fantasies for the Modern Woman Sassy Ladies is the premier magazine of adult spanking fiction. Each issue contains over 120 pages of high quality fiction, readers' letters, personals, and more. All stories are written by women who have experienced the pain and pleasure of adult spanking. Mail in the order form below and try a sample issue or send a self-addressed stamped envelop to receive a free brochure. Be adventurous and explore the fantasy

Sassy Phallic-Headed Business Ladies!

This cover vignette took us on a side trip to Poconos resort hot tubs:

A close up of the cover vignette from Reluctant Enemies by Vivian Vaughn. A very muscly man is behind a naked woman in a big red bathtub with bubbles, and not going to lie, it looks like they're taking the path to the rear, if you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

If you haven’t seen any Poconos hot tubs, here’s a short TikTok of a champagne-glass one. There were also heart-shaped ones, too.

And that’s all for the visual aids – hope you enjoyed! (Please tell me in the comments which was your favorite!)

 





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