Cover Snark: Reptiles are an Unintentional Theme


Welcome back to Cover Snark!

Safe in Her Bodyguard's Arms by Katherine Garbera. A man and woman in a swamp, wading through water. The water comes up to their thighs and we can see beneath where an alligator lurks.
From Rachael: I have so many questions:

Does she not want him to save her from what looks to be an alligator?

Is that alligator okay? His hips seem off.

Should his gun be that close to the water?

Why are they casually having a moment in this clearly dangerous water??!!

Did they keep their shoes on?

Sarah: She’s a shifter. So is the gator. That’s her brother and she has to talk him out of shooting the gator because again, brother.

Also, how come his shirt is wet at the neck and pits but his pants, which are IN WATER, are dry?

Sneezy: I respect alligators and crocodiles the same way I respect bears and moose – from far, far away.

Double Dare by Wynema McGowan. The bottom half of the cover is an older looking wooden house with a porch and a large tree. The orange sky is filled with the image of woman setting at a desk and writing in a journal. She is wearing a dark green, off the shoulder dress. However the woman is copied and flipped vertically and image makes it look like the two woman are joined at the shoulder.

Sarah: That cover is so disturbing to me. Every time I look at it I get a low-grade ick.

Amanda: Yeah, the shoulder area in particular.

Sarah: Looking again, yup, still ick.

Sneezy: My ick is how OBVIOUSLY COPY AND PASTE they are! THIS IS LITERALLY THE LARGEST AND MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS DESIGN!

Wed to the Alien Warlord by January Bell. A headless and shirtless green, well-abbed man with scales. He has long, green hair and a leather strap across his chest. The title is in bright red and orange.

From Lillian P: Green with fish scales? Red belly and abs? Floating in space? And red and yellow font for the title.

Sarah: Someone got reeeeally excited about learning how to use textures in Photoshop.

Amanda: As someone who owned snakes and has touched many a reptile, I don’t know how I’d feel about sexy time with someone with scales.

Sneezy: I’m really into snake people, but only if they have hemi-penises. What’s the point otherwise?

Captive Mates by Corin Cain, Three shirtless men wearing leather straps are in space. Their skin is grey and all are looing down at their crotch. The man in the middle is wielding a green, glowing sword. Behind them are three blue planets in space.

Also from Lillian P: Not one, not two, but three floating aliens all checking themselves out?

Sarah: I’m so sorry I cannot stop laughing at this. It’s so funny. They’re all so pensive! Glowing swords and kilts and a wee-wee stare-off.

Claudia: Oh man I feel we’ve done this one but maybe all the wee-wee staring is blending together!!

Amanda: They all look like they’ve fallen asleep standing up. Like horses.





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