Welcome back to Cover Snark! It’s a real “Christmas in July” edition.
From Sharon
Sarah: At thumbnail size, it looks like he is grabbing hold of an entirely different package.
Elyse: Greasy Santa …
Sarah: Shiny Claus
Claudia: I understand that chimneys can present a challenge, but all that slickness is not appealing!!
Sarah: WHEEEE!
Amanda: All that soot is really going to stick to that baby oil. Also…those lights are on, which I fear poses another risk.
Sarah: if those tiny bulbs get hot like I think they will, the oil will only amplify the burn. Seems unwise.
Shana: I was promised a kilt, not an oil slick. Can I send this gift back?
From Christine: I just can’t stop giggling over this book. This perhaps doesn’t quiiiite fit cover snark. The 69 looks a bit photoshopped, but otherwise it’s fine. And the cover shows the male romantic lead character. Very normal. Except. I mean. It’s a door! A door!
Sarah: Yes. The hero is the heroine’s front door. “When a man claiming to be her front door enters her dreams to warn her about an imminent threat to her life, Tana initially chalks it up to her weird late-night snacks.”
I have to admit, the “69” is a…nice touch.
Amanda: I think Elyse read or was going to read this one!
Elyse: I think not
I may have said that in a moment of insanity
Amanda: I’m looking at this cover with new perspective after playing Date Everything.
Shana: Mmmm look at that sexy wood grain.
Sarah: Is it me or is the doorknob lower than it would usually be?
I can’t believe I have stared at a door for this long.
From Sara: While I know what they were going for, the result is slightly disturbing.
Sarah: Have we snarked this before, or am I thinking of another more different cover with extraneous arms?
Also if her hands are cold, she won’t be impressed by what she finds after splunking down that way.
Amanda: Two thoughts! Is “Baby Duke” what he calls his peen? And the nail color is…bad because of how well it blends into her skin tone.
Sarah: This is a cover that at its smallest size will give folks a double take.
From PamG: Said the FBI guy to the thirsty girl,
Do you see what I see?
Growing from my pants, thirsty girl.
Do you see what I see?
A star, a star, totters at the peak.
Let us hope that Thirsty doesn’t freak.
Let us hope that thirsty doesn’t freak!
(Who knew that pining was so chic?)
Bonus challenge: come up with a final refrain.
Sarah: EXTREME PINING ALERT. The pining is emerging from his pants!
Even his peen is pining. It’s not even subtle.