Honestly, funerals used to be kinda lit, especially in China, where they included musical performances and dancing. It was much more of a to‑do. In Greece, they used to hold funeral games to honor and commemorate the deceased. This allegedly evolved into what we now know as the Olympics. It seems a lot of cultures put the fun in funerals, as it is way more of a celebration than a sad card table with a single vase on it. But then, again there is no wrong way to mourn, your funeral is your funeral vibe. For example, Elizabeth Taylor requested that she be fashionably late to her own funeral. Love her for this. In our opinion, the most stressful thing about hosting any event boils down to one question: What if nobody shows up?

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Enter one of the strangest jobs out there: moirologists (moy‑raw‑lo‑gists). Perhaps better known as wailers or professional mourners, these are individuals or groups who are essentially paid to come to a funeral and assist the friends and family of a deceased loved one in mourning their death. You can literally pay someone to cry and threaten to jump into the grave, if you are so inclined. They charge more for this, of course.

It seems a lot of cultures put the fun in funerals, as it is way more of a celebration than a sad card table with a single vase on it.

In some places, professional mourners would tear their clothes, pull out their hair, all while screaming and crying, very theatrical. This started as a practice for the wealthy, who thought it made the deceased’s family look more regal or prominent, especially in regards to the extreme theatrical performances. Imagine looking down at your own funeral and seeing all of these randoms in attendance—sobbing.

The origin of the practice of employing professional mourners can be traced back to China, where some form of this tradition has been in use since the year 756 and continues to be utilized today. This custom has also been historically present in Egypt and throughout the majority of the Middle East.

In ancient times, the role of a moirologist was mostly limited to women, due to societal expectations that men, as strong leaders, should not openly express emotion. This perception persisted until the 1970s, when societal views began to shift, although remnants of such stereotypes linger.

Over time, the role of moirologists evolved, becoming more subdued. They started attending funerals to quietly cry, while some were compensated for delivering eulogies or paying respects to the departed. The popularity and prevalence of professional mourners have varied across different cultures and time periods. While the practice may have been more common in certain historical periods, it is important to note that it has not always been universally practiced or accepted. The tradition of hiring mourners has persisted in some cultures, but its popularity has fluctuated over time. In contemporary societies, the practice of employing professional mourners may still be observed in certain regions or communities, albeit not as widespread as in ancient times.

In the Victorian era in England, the practice took a more quantifiable turn, with the number of attendees at a funeral seen as an indicator of the deceased’s importance, which makes sense, since the hiring of moirologists had always happened for various reasons. This could be driven by concerns about low attendance, a desire to enhance the perceived importance or popularity of the deceased, or to prevent the sadness of a sparsely attended funeral. They’re basically method actors, emphasizing the need to authentically play the part, as families often prefer to keep the hiring of actors for such purposes discreet. And can we just say, somebody hand these guys an Oscar because—wow. That’s a lot of emotion and a tough job.

Anyway, if you feel so inclined to hire professional mourners for your funeral, expect to pay a hefty price. The cost usually ranges between $35 an hour all the way up to $500, which we are assuming for the latter you get the person threatening to jump into the grave.

But even beyond the professional actors, there always seems to be some drama surrounding a funeral pending wills, lookie‑loos, ex‑wives, suspicious circumstances, and so on. But let us tell you, babe, that ain’t nothing. The dearly deceased is already dealing with much bigger issues like death erections and exploding caskets. And let us not forget grave robbing or necrophilia—rest in peace no more. It’s no wonder some people opt to make their funeral…fun. The most extreme scenarios: such as Judy Sunday, a woman whose casket mourners threw down a bowling lane; New Orleans socialite Mickey Easterling, who was arranged posing with a glass of champs in one hand and a cigarette in the other; or Miriam Burbank, who was positioned at a table with beer, whiskey, and cigarettes. Why have a funeral when you can have a FUNeral, babe?

While funerals are generally solemn occasions meant for mourning and remembrance, some individuals and families cannot imagine going out that way because it’s just not…them. We get it. Nobody wants to throw a boring party. Many have hired DJs, magicians, and even dancing pallbearers to provide an element of entertainment. A rare but real thing are funeral clowns—yes, clowns—meant to provide entertainment and lighten the mood in order to help mourners cope with their grief.

While funerals are generally solemn occasions meant for mourning and remembrance, some individuals and families cannot imagine going out that way.

But nothing prepared us for funeral strippers! Also a very real thing. Funeral strippers are just that, exotic dancers who sing and dance while removing their clothes at a funeral or in a procession to a funeral as a way to celebrate the life of the deceased and attract mourners. See! Everyone is afraid nobody will show up to their last party! If strippers can’t bring ’em in—what will, really? The tradition originated in Taiwan and has since spread throughout parts of China. Some say it brings good luck. We’re not experts here, but we’re willing to bet those people are straight men. Something that makes sense: the practice began in the 1980s when gangsters assumed control of the mortuary industry and offered strippers from their clubs to mourners at a respectfully discounted price.

In Chinese culture, they take funerals very seriously, which is easy to understand since their culture is all for respecting their elders and ancestors. Traditionally they make funerals a big deal. Based on our research, it seems funeral strippers are more often hired by the working class, people living in more rural areas. However, there have been a few instances where they’ve been used in services of high‑profile members of society, so who knows.

As you can imagine, some find the dancing entertaining while others can’t help but feel a little uneasy about the practice. It seems China has significantly cracked down on this controversial performance, since this little strip tease act is often considered obscene. In fact, they started giving rewards to people back in 2018 to snitch on others for hiring funeral strippers.

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From Obitchuary: The Big Hot Book of Death by Madison Reyes and Spencer Henry, published by Plume Books, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC. Copyright © 2024 by Madison Reyes and Spencer Henry.