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Romantic Times Rewind: February 2000 Reviews


Smart Podcast Trashy Books Romantic Times RewindIn this week’s podcast episode, we’re looking at the book reviews for the February 2000 issue of RT Magazine.

Thank you to Mari for this issue!

You can also find all the RTRW content at our category page for Romantic Times Rewind. 

And, most importantly, if you want to listen and follow along with this entry, we have more detail in the audio, but you can click play and listen and read and absorb all the visual goodness:

We’re going to have a lot more to say about the cover in the Ads & Features episode in two weeks, but please enjoy:

Romantic Times 200th issue featuring model Cherif Fortin facing the side while hands are pulling his shirt from his shoulder. On this tricep is a tattoo that says 200th issue

Here are some of the books we talked about in the episode!

In Historical Romance, Amanda picked Starlight by Miranda Jarrett: 

Miranda Jarrett - starlight - a blue washed illustration of a scene of standing stones at twilight with some flowers going down the side

This book allegedly has a seven-toed black kitten and possibly magic? And yet THERE IS NO KITTEN ON THE COVER?! We need to go back 26 years and crash the art department meeting for this one.

I picked Meet Me at Midnight by Suzanne Enoch, which got a tepid 3 star review, but wow-wee-wee-wow, look at that fine cover:

 

A classic clinch cover with a couple in a hedge of waist-high roses ouch the man is shirtless behind her, muscles a flexin, while in front of him there is a woman with shoulder length brown hair and an off the shoulder gown with a LOT of ruffles in a very deep magenta

 

I am willing to bet that dress is taffeta, and that I saw two people wearing similar gowns at prom.

In Science Fiction, we were hella confused.

I picked Gates of Hell by Susan Sizemore: 

Gates of Hell by Susan Sizemore - an illustration of a person with long stringy hair in a black wide brimmed hat and a black cloak riding what looks to be a Segway powered by pink lightning. It's terrible

Is that a Segway? What is going on? Is the church sinking?

I left a very clear choice to Amanda in our shared development document by asking, “I assume you want to talk about Fairie Fucking?

YOU KNOW IT!, said Amanda.

First, why is A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton in Science Fiction?

An image of a pair of long legs against a photograph of weeds? something? In black with red outer glow applied in Photoshop

That, the Fairie Fucking book, is not science fiction, I don’t think. Maybe I’m just wrong a lot. Either way it got 4 stars!

We also took a side trip to examine these books, starting with Of Honor and Treason: 

An illustration of three figures pointing at each other. One is seated on a throne, looks a little like john desalvo and is wearing a blue shirt and pants and a leather doublet. A person is kneeling in front of the throne with a blue doublet and boots and blonde hair in a bowl cut, also pointing. And to the right of the throne dude is a figure with bone formations on their forehead, long brown hair and something with cringe? But the out stretched arm looks like it ends in a ham

Apologies for the not-great image. There aren’t many of this one left. But…the figure in the back  looks like their arm ends in a ham?

This is the sequel, Of Duty and Death: 

of duty and death - mostly purple illustrtion of a figure with forehead bone structures in a white ruffly shirt battling someone who is emaciated and kneeling in front of them. Over the shoulders are two cameo portraits of a woman with 90s hair all big and stringy wearing an off the shoulder purple dress holding something that looks like a wand. On the left is a figure that looks like Sting in a black uniform holding a gun in space

Again, apologies for the resolution…but is that Sting in the top left corner?

In Inspirational, I picked The Glorious Prodigal by Gilbert Morris, which, according to the review, is about “Leah Freeman and Stuart Winslow, a good girl who wants to tame a bad boy.” Stuart. Ok, so I’m willing to entertain the idea of a ‘bad boy’ named Stuart.

But not like this:

A man in a black suit and mustache plays a violin looking very pleased with himself, while a blonde woman in a pink lace trimmed dress looks over her shoulder at him

Is this a joke? Is the ‘bad boy’ part his mustache?

In Mainstream Romance and Mainstream Fiction (??) I picked Love’s Deception by Adrianne Byrd because the description is “stuff that only happens in romance novels and movies.”

A close up photograph of a Black man with a goatee and no shirt bending a woman back over his arm. She has a magenta bathing suit on and two turquoise bangles.

Hot cover!

Here’s the text of the review:

Driven by the guilt she feels over her failure to make amends with her father before his death, Carissa becomes CJ Cartel, President of Cartel Enterprises.

When Travis Edwards, owner of the latest company she is acquiring, has a heart artack during a confrontation in her office, she feels awful.

Nathan Edwards was a child when his
father, Travis Edwards, deserted him and his mother. When he learns that his father is in the hospital, it is with mixed emotions that he goes to Atlanta to see him.

Carissa, meanwhile, feels responsible for Travis and informs the hospital staff that she is his fiancée.

Believing the ruse, Nathan fights the attraction he feels. Their romance develops when Carissa admits the truth, but she knows things will never be right until she comes clean about her part in Travis’ condition.

I love plots like this. Absolutely love them. This book was a 4 1/2 star Top Pick!

Amanda picked Valley of Hemlock by Eden Reed, which I think sounds like a place Amanda would want to live: 

A creepy grey scale photograph of a tree lined path towards a grey, decrepit looking houe

Creepy creepy!

In Mystery Suspense, I picked Dead in the Pumpkin Patch, and then realized that the covers for Connie Fedderson’s books all feature illustrations that focus viewer attention squarely on the backside of the dead person:

a woman in a blue dress lies face down in a field in front of a stack of haybales. There is a crow, a scarecrow and a black cat on the hay bales the focus is drawn to her backside

We’d previously discussed Dead in the Cellar:

Dead in the Cellar - Connie Feddersen - an illustration of a man's jeans-clad ass falling into a storm shelter while in the distance trees are being blown sideways on a farm, though the sky is blue

Nothing but bum!

In Series romance, I picked Tempting Zack by Colleen Faulkner, mostly so I could say “Fuck you” to Zack, who is one of those romance heroes who “has an acute dislike of career women” because of the actions of one person, his ex-wife.

Tempting Zack - an illustration of a woman in a beige vneck sitting on some porch steps against the legs of a guy in a purple polo shirt who has blonde hair

I will never understand how that was an acceptable form of character conflict, that one dude has a problem with a large group of people because of one person’s actions. Honestly, Zack, grow up. She looks like she might be about to toss him over her shoulder and flee so that’s a fine development.

Amanda picked Snowbound Sweetheart by Judy Christenberry: 

A couple in the snow embrace - she is blonde with a red coat and he is wearing a shearling trimmed denim jacket and a cowboy hat

This was another book where the “hero” and the heroine’s entire family were judgmental jerkwards.

Finally, in Electronic Books, I picked The Keeper by M. Ford, which doesn’t appear to exist any longer. This book was a YA mystery, allegedly, and received ONE STAR.

Enjoy the review:

Lindsay Welks knows there is something different about Ethan Carpenter; something mysterious. But she needs his help to become cheerleading captain and gain the popularity and recognition that will allow her to rise above the pain caused by her clueless mother and abusive stepfather.

But things keep getting in her way, like her rival, and the fact that every boy she goes out with winds up dead.

When Ethan steps in to pick up the pieces, Lindsay soon realizes that many of the things she has taken for granted are not what they seemed to be at all.

This story explores serious issues–teen rivalry, sex abuse and murder-an d are addressed for young adults. But it’s erroneously rated G by the publisher. While there is a developing talent underlying the text, this book reminds me of a “slasher” movie. (dl $3.95. dk$9.95)

I mean,

a parady mockup of cream of wheat featuring the lead character from king of the hill pictured above the words CREAM OF WHUT Hot bewilderment - whut the heck - excellent source of HUH?!

Also – $3.95 for download, and a disk is $9.95. Anyone still have book disks still hanging about?

…

Those are all the reviews from February 2000! Our next episode will examine the advertisements and features in this issue, and that’ll air on February 21.

Please believe me when I say you are not prepared for Extreme Troy.

And remember, if you join the Patreon, you’ll get access to the entire issue as a PDF.

What do you think? Do you remember where you were in February 2000? 

Do you remember any of these books?





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