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Romantic Times Rewind: October 1999 Ads & Features


Smart Podcast Trashy Books Romantic Times RewindIn this week’s podcast episode, we’re looking at the incredible ads and features for the October 1999 issue of RT Magazine.

Thank you to Mari for this issue, and thank you to Alison for co-hosting with us!

You can also find all the RTRW content at our category page for Romantic Times Rewind. 

If you want to listen and follow along with this entry, we have more detail in the audio, but you can click play and listen and read and absorb all the visual goodness:

Ok, let’s get started!

Romantic Times october 1999 issue features Samantha James HIS WICKED WAYS which has a background of purple flowers and the whole cover art is that flower image in the background. It's purple and boring.

The cover is pretty boring. Purple flowers, purple flowers everywhere. That little cutout is interesting.

These people are very windy:

A close up of the cover inset with a woman in a pink gown and blonde hair being blown back being lifted in the arms of a guy with long windy black hair blowing in the opposite direction

 

But in the cover for His Wicked Ways, ( A ) which seems to have a keyhole cut in the cover and a stepback, the diamond shows a dude on a horse with an erect tower?

His Wicked Ways by Samantha James has a purple flower background and a diamond cut out showing a picture of a man on a horse galloping across a field with a castle in the background.

Where’d the windy couple go?!

Did you know that Anne Rice had a comic version of The Tale of the Body Thief? I had no memory of this.

The comic adaptation of The Tale of the Body thief, with a picture of artwork depicting Anne's vision of Lestat, who looks like Sean Penn

That picture is the “stunning artwork depicting Anne’s vision of Lestat,” who, according to Amanda, looks like Sean Penn? She’s not wrong.

The ad for the rising stars of romance offered us some TRULY INCREDIBLE COVERS that I am so excited to share with you.

This guy’s horny.

Judi DiCanio's Beloved Warrior features a muscular White guy wearing a MASSIVE horned helmet, a fur over his shoulder, and a sword being lifted behind his back. The tag line is He was larger than life in every respect, from his broad chest to his muscular arms...

The tagline is incredible “He was larger than life in every respect, from his broad chest to his muscular arms…”

  1. Arms and chest are in the same limited region of the body.
  2. What are you trying to say here? No, I’m kidding, I get it.
  3. That ellipsis is doing a lot of work.

The ad for rising stars also featured Leslie Kelly’s Night Whispers ( A ):

Harlequin Temptation's Night Whispers by Leslie Kelly - a white man in a towel leers like really really leers with his arms folded over his chest.

Look at that leer! He’s giving Amanda “Christian Slater vibes,” but I think he looks like Seann William Scott in Dude, Where’s my Car.

Whose Leer Reigns Supreme? The guy above, or this guy?

WAIT. Do you think the dude in Night Whispers is the descendant of the dude in My Season of Scandal?!  I need an Ancestry.com search on the Leer dudes.

Did you know there was a Romance Calendar?! RT sold so many that they had to go back to the bookstores they’d sold calendars to and buy them back to fulfill all the mail orders!

Romance Calendar March 1999- Feb 2000, from The Romance Club with an oval insset with a cowboy holding his hat with lightning striking the ground behind him.

Did you have this calendar? Do you recognize that cover art? That lightning looks kinda close by. Dude and his horse may want to head inside stat.

This ad for The Black Angel ( A ) led me down a wonderful rabbit hole of cover art.

The Black Angel BARBaRa SAMUEL Rita Award-Winning Author Passion once led Lady Adriana into the arms of a rake, an affair that cost her everything she held dear. So she vowed no man would ever ignite her hidden desires--not even her new husband, Tynan Spenser, Earl of Glencove- known as the "Black Angel" for his wild and notorious past. But Tynan is determined to melt his icy bride and pledges to win her with 100 kisses- one per day. Riana is sure she can withstand this challenge. But the willful beauty has no idea of the power of a single kiss "Barbara Samuel is a sorceress, wielding her pen like a magic wand." -Romance and Women's Fiction Exchange

The black and white image really says a lot, but just wait.

This is the original cover:

John DeSalvo is standing in a field in a shirt open but tucked in, a cape, and a sword, and his CHEST IS OUT. Like a pigeon.

Chest OUT. As Amanda says, like a pigeon! Talk about power pose.

This is the updated cover:

A woman in a coral dress with a diaphanous scarf draped behind her. She is standing in front of a stately home and her hair is blonde and very smooth

“Bring back horny chicken DeSalvo!”

You can see the fold marks in the scarf, and her hair is the envy of keratin treatment Instagram accounts everywhere. The gown is from…prom period, really.

But the audiobook is also a treasure!

A close up of a white man with a mustache and chin beard and long wave hair close up with his chin resting on his folded hands

That guy has a podcast.

He gave Amanda the Douche Chills.

This ad was fascinating:

EXPECTING THE BEST by Lynnette Kent • • • . ZACH AND SHELLEY They were lovers before they were friends. Now that they're parents, can they rekindle the romance? "A top-notch love story featuring well-defined characters, effective friction and unwavering sensitivity" -Romantic Times October 1999 ISBN 373-70868-8 • HARLEQUIN SUPERROMANCE

Effective Friction?! How effective WAS the friction? Judging by how very pregnant she is:

A tanned White man in a Canadian tuxedo holds the hand of a White woman with gorgeous blonde hair that is thick and full and she is VERY pregnant wearing a white shift dress and a red sweater. her hand cradles her belly

I just noticed that model looks like a cross between Hugh Jackman and John Travolta. Did they have a dance off and this guy was born?

Also, as I said in the episode, I really thought that when I became an adult, my hair would start doing that full, cascading thing. She’s got Cybill Shepherd in Moonlighting hair.

This ad was also an interesting juxtaposition:

IMAGESIN SCARLET by Samantha Lee Who is the lovely woman in the picture the mysterious Jake carries? HE COULD HAVE LOVED HER, HE MAY HAVE KILLED HER. The horrors of Andersonville destroyed Jake's memory. Allie fled bloody Missouri to build a new life in Santa Fe. Together, they find love and create unforgettable memories of their own.

So the dude without the shirt who is heading to bone town in the desert with this woman is carrying a picture – is that the picture? The inset on the right? That’s what he’s carrying around?

This cover is also exquisite:

A shirtless man holds the knee and embraces a white blonde woman in a desert with orange flowers below them

We had a whole debate as to who that guy looks like. I thought Ben Affleck, but Amanda sees Norm McDonald.

And the person in the white dress – does that look like Kim Basinger or Taylor Swift with a lip lift?

 

This is also a debate-worthy version of this cover, but it’s a very different debate:

An abstract image of a man? maybe? in red wearing a tricorn hat? with a big purple smear of color going up the side, with a yellow and orange background

Is that a colonial American in a hat? A lady with a bouffant hairdo? Or in a BIG HAT?

We need your help because we’re baffled.

MORE SMIRK! MORE SMIRK!

LOVING ELIZABETH by Victoria Dark "A TOUCHING, POIGNANT NOVEL that blends heart wrenching emotions and sensuality with a marvelous story line that keeps readers enthralled unt the last page is turned." RENDEZVOUS "VICTORIA DARK HAS DONE IT AGAIN!" -Romance Communications *.. an author who is bound to be read and remembered!" -Under The Covers Book Reviews September 99 • Zebra Splendor • ISBN 0-8217-6320-2

The cover in color:

A blonde woman with a saucy smile looks over her shoulder at a man iin a dark shirt with a massive mullet, and she's holding a rope and a bucket like she's going to bean him and hogtie him by the well

Her expression!

That MULLET.

What’s she up to with that bucket? 

I could visually explore this cover for ages.

Mr. Romance’s page always delivers:

The page o Mr Romance contestants include Troy, Jason, James, Angelo, Andy and Chris. Three are wearing shirts, three are topless, and one is a close up and seems to be wearing plaid

Let’s take a closer look at a few of them:

This is Andy, and he's wearing a sleeveless yellow vest with a bathing suit flexing his abs with his hands on his hips. The bathing suit has stylized flowers printed on it and one si directly over his crotch

That’s Andy, from Germany, and he wants you to see the strategically-placed flower on his swim trunks, I think.

Troy’s bio is something:

TROY D. SUTTER Troy is a nightclub management consultant currently living in Florida. He's opened eight nightclubs, including six in Europe, and loves meeting people. He's sitting with a shirt open to his sternum with a glass of champagne in his hand

Eight nightclubs, loves meeting people.

Next is a full page color ad for Helen Rosburg, and her husband, who was a Mr. Romance contestant that year.

WRIGLEY HEIRESS & ROMANCE AUTHOR Helen Rosburg is looking forward to meeting fellow romance lovers at the... ROMANTIC TIMES BOOKLOVERS CONVENTION IN TORONTO, SEPTEMBER 16 -19 also meet the "love of her life" James who will be competing in this year's Cover Model Pageant! She'll autograph her latest leisure Book CALL OF THE TRUMPET at the BOOK FAIR EXTRAVAGANZA SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 CALL OF THE TRUMPET is a historical romance novel set among the Bedouin tribes of the Sahara Desert in which the author writes about what she knows and loves - ARABIAN HORSES.

The license plate!

A florida plate that reads CHEW GUM

And Call of the Trumpet ( A ) is quite a cover:

A white woman in a fringed skirt and bikini top lunges toward a man with her back arched and her butt out, while he's shirtless and wearing baggy white pants and a red tie belt, with a horse freaking out behind them.

That horse is DONE with whatever is happening. That is also an I’m About to Let One (™ Longmire’s very, very old post) pose:
A doctored cover for a Nora Hess novel with a woman arching her back while laying on top of a shirtless man. the title has been doctored to read I'm About to Let One

The cover for Honor Among Thieves gave Alison the creeps:

An uncanny valley illustration of a man with a crossbody bag and a knife and a strangely shaped face beside a woman with a very strange face holding a tiny tiny gun

I also noticed how many of the ads for ebooks in this issue had covers that were square, aka diskette size, instead of rectangle in portrait alignment like a paperback book:

Two black and white ads for ebooks that are square and feature illustrated uncanny valley illustrations

There was a BIG BOO BOO in a previous issue of Romantic Times and they regret the inconvenience!

Betty Neels Alive & Well! We incorrectly reported in the September Forum (RT#186) that Betty Neels, longtime series romance author, passed away earlier this year. Ms. Neels is actually alive, well, and still writing. We extend our sincere apologies and regret any inconvenience the error may have caused.

OOPS.

Imagine those phone calls. *shudder*

The RT BookLover’s Convention was in Toronto that year – international! – and this was one of the lead promo items in this issue:

The Art of Seduction: Bring More Romance into Your Life! W Then Toronto native and professional seductress Mary Taylor learned the RT convention was coming to her hometown, she made us an offer we couldn't refuse--to share her expertise in a workshop on how to seduce your lover in new and thrilling ways. This three-hour program, which is also available on video and soon to be released in print, is designed with the average women in mind. Mary believes all women- regardless of age or size- are beautiful and have strong seductive powers, but most don't know how to get started. Mary promises that this step-by-step workshop will empower women, teaching some of the best moves and techniques. Overcome your fears. titillate your lover, and celebrate female sexuality! Whether you're researching your novel or educating your libido, leave your inhibitions behind and learn how to unleash vour fantasies on the man in your life. Not for the faint of heart--but a heck of a lot of fun! Workshop is on Friday from 3pm-6pm.

The text reads:

The Art of Seduction: Bring More Romance into Your Life!

When Toronto native and professional seductress Mary Taylor learned the RT convention was coming to her hometown, she made us an offer we couldn’t refuse–to share her expertise in a workshop on how to seduce your lover in new and thrilling ways.

This three-hour program, which is also available on video and soon to be released in print, is designed with the average women in mind. Mary believes all women- regardless of age or size- are beautiful and have strong seductive powers, but most don’t know how to get started. Mary promises that this step-by-step workshop will empower women, teaching some of the best moves and techniques. Overcome your fears. titillate your lover, and celebrate female sexuality!

Whether you’re researching your novel or educating your libido, leave your inhibitions behind and learn how to unleash your fantasies on the man in your life. Not for the faint of heart–but a heck of a lot of fun! Workshop is on Friday from 3pm-6pm.

There’s a lot to unpack here, like the part where it seems to lean in on tiresome stereotypes about romance readers, or the part about how one qualifies as a ‘professional seductress,’ but also: three. hours. 

THREE HOURS.

Oh my stars. Did you attend this? Can you please tell us everything?

Do you remember party lines?

THE ROMANCE CONNECTION-Come and experience the passion on the nation's # 1 romance and partline. Call: 1-473-407-8557 or 1-268-938-7878. Regular long distance applies. 18+

What was that like? You get on a line with a bunch of people talking about…romance the genre or romance the interpersonal experience? “Come and experience the passion?” “The nation’s #1 romance and partyline?”

A group chat on the phone talking about romance…so how did that even work?

(No, we did not call this number.)

And this was the back cover, which featured a book with an iiiiiiinteresting stepback!

The cover for Bobbi Smith's Brides of Durango with John deSalvo in avest and shirt holding the waist of a bride with her dress half undone facing away from the reader. Only half of DeSalvo's face is showing so it's a little creepy The stepback shows a couple in bed - description below in the image!

The cover is sort of interesting, with DeSalvo’s half face there, but look at the pose of the stepback:

A white woman with straight brown hair reclines on a brass bed with a red wall behind her. She's on her back with one leg bent toward DeSalvo, who looks dazed and confused and has his head on her stomach, the position of his body suggesting he is about to go down town

He’s about to go downtown, right? That’s the implication here, yes?

Ok, then! Clearly they both attended the professional seduction seminar, all three hours!

So that was October 1999!

Remember, if you join the Patreon, you’ll get access to the entire issue as a PDF.

What do you think? Do you remember any of these books? 

And how are you enjoying the RT Rewind episodes?



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